The constant fluctuations of emotions must cease immediately
The feeling of death being near feels like a black poisonous liquid is taking over my organs
I have meditated for 15 minutes for three days now.
In those 15 minutes I have done nothing but breathe.
I must practice that self-control outside of those 15 minutes.
I have all the knowledge
like I said in my previous posts, it doesn’t take a genius to full fill the dreams one had as a child.
Breathe my child,
you are on heaven on earth,
do not be blind by the magic of what science and God has created,
do not be blind by the ones who love you,
do not be blind by the opportunities you have to be on top of the hierachy,
Breahte
21 is a tender age to be.
When most want to be free, yet not fully understand what it is they want to be
Breathe my child,
Breathe in the pure air of the earth,
Breathe in Life,
And exhale all that poisons your soul.
I think I’m slowly killing myself from stressing out over minute obstacles. Wait a minute..there aren’t any obstacles in my life..I have a food, shelter, clothing and going to school without the need for a job. What could be wrong? It’s probably the voice in my head that tells me “I can’t do it.” whenever things don’t go my way. And I used to blame these things because I come from a family of self-made hard working people. But they’re not telling me what to do per say. I need to breathe, I have all the time in the world.. if I can’t breathe now what more when I occupy my time with a cocktail of things such as a job, bills to pay, personal and family duties. Before I thought the “cool” thing to do was not to really care about school, I maintained a C/B average not putting much effort into school..I guess that’s saying that I’m smart..I guess..but a fool to not give it my all to attain a 4.0. I did it before, I can do it again. I need to keep telling myself that. I must believe in myself for no one else is going to raise me up in my time of troubles. I ceased to self diagnose my self with symptoms I got out of wikipedia or basic medical websites online. I’m drowining myself with a dark murky dense water, when in reality I’m in the heavens. I have a house, a closet full of clothes, a family who loves me, opportunities waiting to be siezed, I have an opportunity to do pretty much anything I want. My family didn’t migrate from the Philippines for nothing. Breathe Iya, Breathe. Everything will be okay. One step…at…a..time…
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