Rambles on Rambles on a Pensive Woman.

       I recently landed a job working at a retail store as another retail slave.”I hate work.” I thought to myself as I was folding clothes. All I wanted to do was go home and read more articles on: Spirituality, Psychology and Bussiness. In August of this year, my brother told me “If you read about stocks and bussiness for an hour a day you will be successful.” I failed to play the stocks game for I don’t fully understand every company in the stock market. So I succumbed to reading personal finance and popular articles to be informed about the bussiness side of the world. Nevertheless, the negative thought of loathing my work always comes after the positive thought of getting the phone call when the manager asks “So when can you start?” I realized I didn’t want this to become a pattern. I had been listening and reading to many philosophies of how to train your mind to become a positive thinker mainly by Earl Nightingale. I also came upon this silly article in a workout magazine that stated “When you feel like giving up during a workout think of the people that inspire you..” I immediately thought of my mother. 62 and still working as a slave in the customer service system. I imagined the scenarios when I would drive my white pontiac into the parking lot of CVS and wait for her. From the outside I could see her eyes through the window, the gentle smile can be seen from a distance along with her endurance of work. As she enters my car and sits on the passenger seat the usual interogation would occur. “How was work mom?” “Oh the same, tired as always.” After hearing this more than a dozen times, I made it my goal to help my mother in any way I can. Even in the smallest things. During the time that I spend with her at home I would tell her that she should stop working and I know that is impossible at this moment in time. I thought about the lectures of Earl Nightingale, that as a child we thought nothing was impossible, then we turn 25 and set out on our journey into full filling our dreams…yet not everyone turns out to be successful at 65. This thought has been occupying my mind for a while now. I feel that I am obligated to study nursing because my father told me so and my sisters have no faith in me succedding in anything else. Another thought comes to my mind after that: conformity. With every thing I’ve watched relating to how to be successful, they repeated that conformity was the evil of the system. We live in America, the land of the free, the home of the brave, where all dreams are possible. Or that is the mindset we were nurtured in as a child. Yet why do we limit ourselves to achieving certain things at a certain age because society calls for one to do so? Nevertheless, as I thought of my mother I could feel my brain release hormones that it craves for. I’m not sure what. But being as it may, considering all the times I’ve fainted in the past year, I’ve becomed very intuitive with my body. I resulted to singing along with the Christmas songs as I folded the pile of clothes in front of me.

       I spotted a man who was rummaging through the women’s jacket section and immediately took it as chance to speak to someone for I could not bare the lack of human interaction. I pulled out a United Colors of Benningtion jacket “hey, what are you looking for if I may ask? Could you be interested in this Jacket?”

“It’s very New York. But I don’t think she would like that.” he replied. She who is she..? I thought to my self. The jacket I pulled out was for women of my mothers age and by the tone of his voice “she” was not close to my mothers age.

“Aww okay. This wouldn’t fit her anyway.” As the word “her” escaped my lips I imagined a thin causaisn women in her mid-twenties. Being that, this man was caucasian and didn’t look like the type to be enaged in an interatial relationship. I’m not being racist or whatever. I just read vibes.

“Okay, I hope you find everything you are looking for.” I said as I left to fold more clothes.

The pinnacle of my work was introducing a pair of pants with a paisley print to a tall African American woman. “Giiiirrrl, everyone needs a staple pants in their closet…” I know what your thinking, it’s retail and I’m trained to lie to customers for bussiness. Yet I don’t do that..

 

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