The Mayan’s predicted a change in the stars. And I am one with the stars.

I’ve lost all hope in my dreams. I’ve put my self in so much stress in the past 2 and a half years. Though that doesn’t mean that I will succumb to ending my life. That’s what 2011 me would do. I’ve been reading bussiness articles on a daily and watching Ted talks every now and then. I still have my two goals carved in my mind.

I’ve lost all hope. My morals have changed completely from what it was a year ago. I’ve become more open that science over rules religion in explaining the universe yet religion or faith is the best way to ease one’s emotions.

I’ve lost all hope. Although I want to break everything in sight. My childhood peacefulness still lives inside me. I must keep composure and shall not show any sign of weakness to anyone. Whatever will come my way I will over come.

I’ve lost all hope but I must keep moving on. I cannot count the times when I could taste death at the tip of my tongue. When my heart would palpitate at the speed of light and my air ways were closing on me. Making it hard for me to breathe.

I’m done.

I’m done hurting myself.

In choosing that. I’ve also chosen to stop hurting other people by hurting myself.

I will figure out how to alleviate myself from this tragedy I created and this time, next year. My life will be in another universe. A more beautiful universe. Where the grim reaper no longer follows me as a shadow and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

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