I’m tired of engaging myself from one man to another. I know it’s 2012 and the rules of courting have changed. I think I’ve met enough men to know what I want in my romantic life. I think I’ve spent 8 years of my life chasing other people and doing what I think it is they want me to do and as a result I end up being unhappy. Last year before new years eve, I made it a goal for myself not to engage in a romantic relationship for six months. I failed after the fifth. My life goal, will just be to focus on myself, focus on what makes me happy. I often feared of being alone and not being in the company of others but after hiking alone today for the first time, I realized everyone needs to be alone to get to know themselves, to constantly have self-evaluations.
I’m tired. tired of being ill treated by men…and angry at myself for allowing them to do so. I’m also tired of artificial friends. It’s all my fault…I feel this way because of my decisions in the past. I should really follow my instinct more often.